A few years ago, I created a grief writing workshop in conjunction with the hospice program I volunteered for. At the end of the first class (6 weeks), I gave each participant a big freshwater pearl. I explained that a pearl is formed when a grain of sand or shell is placed inside an oyster. The oyster, over time, lays down layer after layer of nacre on the irritant, to protect itself. And so something painful and difficult is soothed, through grief and time and support, to create a beautiful pearl.

Everybody loved that, and many were moved to tears. And then the social worker (a specialist in grief support) assigned to co-run the sessions with me, piped up and said, "How do they know the oyster feels pain?!" We all looked at her and she repeated, "I mean, did they ASK the oyster? How can they tell??"

Nobody knew what to say. It was quite awkward.

I remember thinking, "In...the...wrong...profession."

I did talk to her privately afterwards, acknowledging that we can only make our best guess, but still no need to spoil the moment.

So in the spirit of the current moment, pearls, and a coral bead that did not hurt the coral. :^D